On Mental Health – What to do When a Loved One Avoids Professional Help

There have been a lot of advocacies on opening up about mental health issues and ending the stigma surrounding mental disorders. Health experts and advocates encourage people to talk to a psychologist or a professional if they are suffering from any form of mental illness. But what if it is your loved one who is unwilling to seek help?

According to a study by Health Canada, around 11 million people in the country face high stress levels. COVID -19 worsened mental health conditions, with 66% of women and 51% of men in Canada saying the whole ordeal during the pandemic has affected them adversely. But what is most startling to know is that only one out of five people who are undergoing severe stress and anxiety will seek support for their concerns.

People experiencing mental health concerns are not always too keen on seeking treatment for various reasons:

  • They do not believe there is a problem. It is possible that a depressed person just genuinely does not know he or she is depressed. Mood disorders often start slowly before eating you up from the inside with overwhelming intensity. It is also possible that a person who is suffering from a form of mental disorder is still in a state of denial. In both cases, support from family and friends is needed to let them accept the fact that they are having issues. 
  • They may feel they can solve this on their own. It is not surprising at all if some people would rather choose to keep their problems within themselves. Before, mental illnesses were considered as problems only for the weak-willed. This type of person may have grown in an environment where they are pressured to hide any psychological issue to show the semblance of “manning-up” or getting over it.
  • They have fears regarding the stigma of having a mental health problem. Stigma is public discrimination of a person or a mark of disgrace. If your specific characteristic, personal trait, or circumstance does not fit the prevailing standards, people tend to act negatively toward you. We have long suffered from the negative stereotype that people with mental illness are weaker people. That is why opening up to other people is difficult for those who suffer it and seeking professional help is an option only if the situation is critical.

Having a family member or a loved one who is resistant to getting a professional treatment can be hard. But even if your loved one does not see the need for help for now, what he/she needs is support. Try doing the following things to encourage him/her that seeking treatment is an advantage:

Improve your knowledge about mental health.

Learning about what your family member is experiencing is one step to understanding his/her situation. There are now many resources online that you can check if you want to read about a specific psychological disorder. If you want to take your research to the next level, you can also find a medical professional who can advise you. If you cannot go to your local walk-in clinic Calgary for whatever reason, you can still talk to an online doctor by booking one through an online clinic.

Change how you talk to your loved one.

 If pleading and even threatening (please do not do this no matter how tempted you are) your family member only resulted in breakdowns and further miscommunication, it is time to consider how you talk to him/her. If you are talking about the treatment, instead of using “you” sentences, say “I” sentences. For example, instead of telling your loved one, “You need to seek professional treatment!”, try saying, “Whenever I hear you talk about how sad and anxious you are, I cannot help but be worried about your situation. I think it would be helpful if you can open up to someone about your sentiments.” Shifting your statements from a “you” to an “I” perspective avoids the mistake of sounding like you are criticizing your loved one. Instead, you are focusing on your own feelings about the matter, which makes them feel less defensive.

Get support.

Orient other family members about the situation. If you are learning about the mental issue, try getting others to join you so that everyone will understand what you are facing as a family. So that your loved one suffering from psychological issues will not feel threatened about treatment, you can start by going to group therapy sessions or family support groups. If this is not possible, you can find support by looking for online groups who are facing the same struggles.

Patience is key. Even if your loved one does not feel like seeking treatment yet, do not give up hope and keep the support until he/she decides at the right time. If your family member does not want to leave the house because he/she is apprehensive about being seen going to a physician or clinic, try introducing him/her to an online doctor who can help. That way, your family member can talk to a medical professional, get advice, be diagnosed, and receive treatment options without leaving the comfort of his/her room.